“The thing that I want the listeners to know, young women, is that the value of cultivating friendships is important,” Obama said recently on the Call Her Daddy podcast. “It’s as important as the degree that you got in college; it’s as important as the job title and the salary.”

In a world where you can’t control who hires you or how you’re perceived, friendships become a form of agency. They’re where confidence is rehearsed, ideas are tested, and resilience is built, often long before those skills are rewarded with a title or a pay raise.

“Start working on building your relationships and your friendships,” Obama advised. “Work on being as whole as you can be, because you can’t control who’s going to love you; who’s going to like you; who‘s going to give you a job; who’s going to see you the way you want to be seen.”

Obama’s friendship philosophy is a smart career-booster; CEOs have been able to make bold job choices and meaningfully reflect on their decision-making when they have a strong support network. Business leaders say their friends elevate their careers by being brutally honest, sharing industry wisdom, and giving them an “in” when applying for new roles. 

Friendships that have propelled billionaire leaders to the top

In a cutthroat business world, many budding professionals have been advised that it’s every man for himself. But the world’s most successful icons will tell you otherwise; look no further than acclaimed broadcast journalist King, and Winfrey, the billionaire media mogul. 

The duo have been friends for more than five decades, after meeting in Baltimore, where 22-year-old Winfrey was a news anchor who offered 21-year-old King a production assistant gig. Together, they told Melinda French Gates their careers and lives would be incredibly different without counting on each other for hard truths and unrelenting support. 

“Gayle was the only person who said, ‘I think you could do it,’” Winfrey said in a 2024 interview. King similarly thanked Winfrey for her guidance throughout her career, adding that she would not have ended up at CBS or the Met Gala if it weren’t for their connection.

French Gates also shared that she reserves a morning stroll with her three closest female friends every Monday. The confidants help the billionaire philanthropist work through some tough decisions, and she can count on them to be upfront about what she should do. 

“I’ve been incredibly lucky to have three female friends now for over 30 years,” French Gates told Winfrey and King during the 2024 interview. “They are my truth council. Whenever I’m going to make a really hard decision or make a big transition, I know I have to have the courage to tell them … and they’re honest with me.”

Obama herself has amassed a long list of achievements; the Harvard-educated attorney specialized in entertainment law at high-powered firm Sidley Austin, served as an assistant to Chicago’s mayor, and was associate dean of students at the University of Chicago. But finding and keeping close friends got sticky when she became the 44th first lady beside her husband, former President Barack Obama. 

That’s not necessarily a bad thing. Just as important as it is to make friends, Obama also issued a warning when choosing whom to court as a pal: Be picky, and befriend those who are on the same trajectory. 

“It’s almost like we’re telling people, ‘You’re okay by yourself. All you need is your phone, some apps, and success.’ And what I’m saying is, ‘No, you need friends, and you have to work on that,’” Obama added. “You’ve got to be really smart and selective about who you let in, who you let stay in, who you let out. Who is ready to follow the path that you want to go on.”

Friendship may be more powerful than networking 

Pulling aside a colleague for lunch may be a more powerful career choice than small-talking peers at a work conference. Suzy Welch, professor of management practice at New York University, believes that friendship actually outperforms networking when it comes to success. 

“Students in college are told by their parents and their professors: network, network, network. And I just think it’s nonsense,” Welch said in a TikTok video last year. “I think it’s nonsense because I’ve watched business for the past 40 years of my life, and I see how it works. And it works because of friendships, not networking.”

The longtime consultant, business columnist, and news contributor has witnessed what has worked over the past four decades. Welch said it’s “completely crazy” to expect that traditional networking leads to a great career; in actuality, building deep connections over many years is a better long-term strategy. 

“It works because over the course of your life, you have become friends with somebody. You have done favors for them without any expectation of return, and then over time, one day, there’s a piece of business, and they’re the ones who help you get it,” Welch continued. “And this is how businesses actually run: friendship on top of friendship on top of friendship.”