• Home
  • Latest
  • Fortune 500
  • Finance
  • Tech
  • Leadership
  • Lifestyle
  • Rankings
  • Multimedia

Trendingnow

1

Pentagon accuses Alibaba, Baidu and BYD, three of China's biggest companies, of supporting the Chinese military

2

'We are rapidly running out of time': Watchdog sounds Social Security alarm after 22% cut confirmed for 2032

3

Costco CEO Ron Vachris rose from forklift driver to the C-suite without a college degree: ‘Don’t chase a title’ is the career advice that got him there

1

Pentagon accuses Alibaba, Baidu and BYD, three of China's biggest companies, of supporting the Chinese military

2

'We are rapidly running out of time': Watchdog sounds Social Security alarm after 22% cut confirmed for 2032

3

Costco CEO Ron Vachris rose from forklift driver to the C-suite without a college degree: ‘Don’t chase a title’ is the career advice that got him there
Satire from Fortune

23andMe Offers Pared-Down Test, Tells You If You’re Michael Douglas

By
Ashwin Rodrigues
Ashwin Rodrigues
Down Arrow Button Icon
By
Ashwin Rodrigues
Ashwin Rodrigues
Down Arrow Button Icon
June 7, 2018, 1:04 PM ET
Premiere Of Columbia Pictures' "Flatliners" - Arrivals
LOS ANGELES, CA - SEPTEMBER 27: Actor Michael Douglas attends the premiere of "Flatliners" at The Theatre at Ace Hotel on September 27, 2017 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Jason LaVeris/FilmMagic)Jason LaVeris—FilmMagic

MOUNTAIN VIEW, Calif. — After the latest security breach at MyHeritage involving 92 million user accounts, genomics company 23andMe is adapting to consumer’s increased demand for privacy-sensitive genetic testing with its latest product.

The maker of at-home DNA testing kits, 23andMe has previously marketed to Americans hoping to trace back their ancestry, or unearth genetic dispositions to certain diseases. Consumers have started to ask questions around the data collected by companies like 23andMe, specifically, who owns it. The Federal Trade Commission has also warned consumers before taking test like 23andMe’s, given the highly sensitive nature of the data being exposed and collected.

The company responded in an unlikely way. For the cost of twelve dollars, 23andMe will now offer a test which will tell you if you are the 73 year-old actor and producer Michael Douglas.

A spokesperson for 23andMe provided the following statement:

“Privacy is our number one priority. Still, we understand some consumers are unable to reach the level of trust required to take our traditional DNA test. We believe we’ve found a solution, which is both cost-effective and informative, for anyone who wants to know if they starred in Wall Street, Traffic, or Ant-Man.”

The spokesperson explained how the pared-down version of the test would work. Consumers would take a digital photo of themselves, and mail it in to 23andMe’s testing center. A team of biologists and celebrity forensic analysts would analyze the photo, and within 20-25 business days, provide an analysis.

“I was not consulted before this product was launched,” said actor and producer Michael Douglas, “but I intend to take the test, just in case.”

For additional security, 23andMe is weighing the cost and benefits of moving the entire test to Snapchat.

 

For more satire from Fortune, click here.

About the Author
By Ashwin Rodrigues
See full bioRight Arrow Button Icon

Latest in

Finance
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam
By Fortune Editors
October 20, 2025
Finance
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam
By Fortune Editors
October 20, 2025
Finance
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam
By Fortune Editors
October 20, 2025
Finance
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam
By Fortune Editors
October 20, 2025
Finance
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam
By Fortune Editors
October 20, 2025
Finance
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam
By Fortune Editors
October 20, 2025

Most Popular

Finance
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam
By Fortune Editors
October 20, 2025
Finance
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam
By Fortune Editors
October 20, 2025
Finance
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam
By Fortune Editors
October 20, 2025
Finance
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam
By Fortune Editors
October 20, 2025
Finance
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam
By Fortune Editors
October 20, 2025
Finance
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam
By Fortune Editors
October 20, 2025
Fortune Secondary Logo
Rankings
  • 100 Best Companies
  • Fortune 500
  • Global 500
  • Fortune 500 Europe
  • Most Powerful Women
  • World's Most Admired Companies
  • See All Rankings
  • Lists Calendar
Sections
  • Finance
  • Fortune Crypto
  • Features
  • Leadership
  • Health
  • Commentary
  • Success
  • Retail
  • Mpw
  • Tech
  • Lifestyle
  • CEO Initiative
  • Asia
  • Politics
  • Conferences
  • Europe
  • Newsletters
  • Personal Finance
  • Environment
  • Magazine
  • Education
Customer Support
  • Frequently Asked Questions
  • Customer Service Portal
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms Of Use
  • Single Issues For Purchase
  • International Print
Commercial Services
  • Advertising
  • Fortune Brand Studio
  • Fortune Analytics
  • Fortune Conferences
  • Business Development
  • Group Subscriptions
About Us
  • About Us
  • Press Center
  • Work At Fortune
  • Terms And Conditions
  • Site Map
  • About Us
  • Press Center
  • Work At Fortune
  • Terms And Conditions
  • Site Map
  • Facebook icon
  • Twitter icon
  • LinkedIn icon
  • Instagram icon
  • Pinterest icon

Latest in

Current price of gold as of June 10, 2026
Personal Financegold prices
Current price of gold as of June 10, 2026
By Danny BakstJune 10, 2026
2 hours ago
Current price of oil as of June 10, 2026
Personal FinanceOil
Current price of oil as of June 10, 2026
By Joseph HostetlerJune 10, 2026
2 hours ago
Current price of silver as of Wednesday, June 10, 2026
Personal Financesilver
Current price of silver as of Wednesday, June 10, 2026
By Joseph HostetlerJune 10, 2026
2 hours ago
Businesswoman working at desk with laptop and documents in office
NewslettersCFO Daily
Finance teams can’t quit Excel. Workday wants to change that with AI
By Sheryl EstradaJune 10, 2026
3 hours ago
goldman
Investingprivate equity
‘The circulatory system isn’t working.’ Goldman on what’s really wrong with private markets
By Nick LichtenbergJune 10, 2026
3 hours ago
Exclusive: Mastercard launches protocol to let AI agents pay each other, send micropayments
BankingMastercard
Exclusive: Mastercard launches protocol to let AI agents pay each other, send micropayments
By Ben WeissJune 10, 2026
3 hours ago

Most Popular

Pentagon accuses Alibaba, Baidu and BYD, three of China's biggest companies, of supporting the Chinese military
Asia
Pentagon accuses Alibaba, Baidu and BYD, three of China's biggest companies, of supporting the Chinese military
By Kate O'Keeffe and BloombergJune 8, 2026
2 days ago
'We are rapidly running out of time': Watchdog sounds Social Security alarm after 22% cut confirmed for 2032
Economy
'We are rapidly running out of time': Watchdog sounds Social Security alarm after 22% cut confirmed for 2032
By Nick LichtenbergJune 9, 2026
22 hours ago
Costco CEO Ron Vachris rose from forklift driver to the C-suite without a college degree: ‘Don’t chase a title’ is the career advice that got him there
Success
Costco CEO Ron Vachris rose from forklift driver to the C-suite without a college degree: ‘Don’t chase a title’ is the career advice that got him there
By Preston ForeJune 8, 2026
2 days ago
Current price of oil as of June 9, 2026
Personal Finance
Current price of oil as of June 9, 2026
By Joseph HostetlerJune 9, 2026
1 day ago
Current price of silver as of Tuesday, June 9, 2026
Personal Finance
Current price of silver as of Tuesday, June 9, 2026
By Joseph HostetlerJune 9, 2026
1 day ago
Wall Street dumped nearly $1 trillion in tech stocks by midday—then clawed it back and bought peanut butter and paint
Investing
Wall Street dumped nearly $1 trillion in tech stocks by midday—then clawed it back and bought peanut butter and paint
By Eva RoytburgJune 9, 2026
17 hours ago

© 2026 Fortune Media IP Limited. All Rights Reserved. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy | CA Notice at Collection and Privacy Notice | Do Not Sell/Share My Personal Information
FORTUNE is a trademark of Fortune Media IP Limited, registered in the U.S. and other countries. FORTUNE may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. Offers may be subject to change without notice.