Ronda Rousey told Ellen DeGeneres in an emotional interview that she was briefly suicidal following her loss to Holly Holm in November.

Rousey told DeGeneres about the moment in the medical room directly after her first career loss.

“I was sitting in the corner like, what am I anymore if I’m not this? And I was literally sitting there and thinking about killing myself in that exact second. I was like, I’m nothing. What do I do anymore? And no one give a s— about me without this anymore,” Rousey said. “To be honest, I looked up and I saw my man Travis was standing there. I looked up at him and I was like, I need to have his babies. I need to stay alive. I haven’t told anyone that. I think I only told him that.”

Holm defeated Rousey by second-round knockout at UFC 193, her first loss in 13 professional fights. They are expected to have a rematch later this year.

Rousey’s interview with DeGeneres will air Tuesday on Ellen.

– Dan Gartland